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    Disclaimer

    For those who are unfamiliar with the concept of a hitchhiker’s guide, or who do not understand sarcasm, the primary purpose of this website is humor or parody. While the information here can and should be informative, it should also be taken with a rather large grain of salt.

    Should you find anything in The Guide that you disagree with or in fact know to be false, please do remember the golden rule first laid out in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, “The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”

Earth News

Insurance refuses to cover rain damage to Noah’s Ark replica

A giant replica of Noah’s Ark situated in Northern Kentucky on dry land had a bit of an unfortunate run-in with flood waters recently, prompting its owners to file insurance claims for rain damage. Ironically, their five insurance companies, which agreed to insure the ark in the first place, ruled that the insurance policies did… read more »

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Pro Tip: Watermelon doesn’t make a good robbery mask

When one sets out to commit a robbery, proper facial attire is of utmost importance. While it is generally customary to choose a bandana, Halloween mask, stockings or a ski mask, a creative pair of robbers in a small Virginia town found their inspiration in the produce aisle at the local grocery store. According to… read more »

She bought her lottery ticket 2 hours earlier than usual… and won

The butterfly effect worked out in a positive manner for a cleaner from Australia. It turns out this particular cleaner kept to the same schedule and always bought her Saturday Lotto ticket at the same time. On one particular Saturday, though, she was running ahead of schedule by a couple of hours and stopped by… read more »

This bookshelf can be turned into a casket for its owner

Human beings do not relish the thought of their own demise. This is evidenced by their inability to look upon death as a natural end to life or to acknowledge their own and others’ mortality. This is why so often their burial ceremonies are billed as “a celebration of life.” It should come as no… read more »

How a bull scratching its bum knocked out power to 700 homes

A constant among most living creatures in the galaxy — at least those with nervous systems — is the itch. It is nature’s way of taking us all down a peg and reminding us that our bodies are imperfect and at odds with nature. However, a little itching, when not related to some sort of… read more »

Police robot tells woman to ‘go away’ and rolls off humming

While some planets in the galaxy have taken the lead when it comes to automation and use of robotic entities, Earth has fallen wildly behind the curve in these endeavors. While robots named Rosie who were capable of cooking, cleaning and washing dishes were dreamt of in cartoons of the 1960s, all humanity has managed… read more »

The polls were closed, but the election still happened. Nobody voted

Human beings in most countries on Earth pride themselves in their freedom to choose their elected leaders. In Earthspeak, this system of government whereby the led choose those who lead them is known as “democracy.” However, sometimes the petty disagreements of humans can lead to unintended bureaucratic nightmares such as the one occurring right now… read more »

Can you catch 29 ping pong balls on your shaving-cream-filled head?

EARTH — It should be no surprise that the inhabitants of the planet Earth have obscure amusements. They do after all occupy an obscure planet in an obscure solar system in an obscure section just at the outskirts of the galaxy. It isn’t uncommon for Earth men to create unknown and obscure hobbies — usually… read more »

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