For those who are unfamiliar with the concept of a hitchhiker’s guide, or who do not understand sarcasm, the primary purpose of this website is humor or parody. While the information here can and should be informative, it should also be taken with a rather large grain of salt.

    Should you find anything in The Guide that you disagree with or in fact know to be false, please do remember the golden rule first laid out in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, “The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”

Jesus of Nazareth: The God who walked on Earth

Entry Name: Jesus of Nazareth

Also called Jesus Christ. This is quite possibly the most famous person in the history of the world in human terms. In divine terms, He is the maker of the history of the world, all worlds, and of life the universe and everything.

Identity and Birth

He was born roughly 2,000 earth years ago give or take 50 or so years. The circumstances surrounding his birth were almost immediately the source of much controversy and aggravation, as his mother, Mary, claimed that she was still a virgin while great with child. Further, she claimed the child inside of her belonged to God.

This was not a popular claim, nor did it go over well with the woman’s intended husband, a carpenter named Joseph, who also lived in Nazareth. Being a religious man, he felt conflicted between what he would have considered to be a blasphemous claim and the fact that he did not want to further shame his betrothed. He was set to end the relationship quietly, but prior to carrying out that decision an angel appeared to him and confirmed Mary’s story. Not one to argue with the messengers of the God he loved, Joseph found it in his best interest not to protest and to marry Mary immediately.


If the circumstances surrounding his birth were controversial and hard to believe, one should consider the reality that truth is stranger than fiction, and also note that the death of this great man was more absurd and controversial than his birth. To explain both of these and many of his other teachings and prophesies, Jesus claimed He was God, and quite likely proved it by rising from the dead three days after his brutal death by crucifixion.

In between His life and His death, Jesus shook up the religious establishment of the day, annoyed some officials in the world’s most notable superpower at the time, healed those who came to Him needing healing, scolded the religious and dined with some of the most wretched people the world has ever known.

Resurrection and Purpose

Chief among his actions was the forgiveness of sins, which no other human has claimed power to do. Again, it is quite possible that his claims to forgive sin were true, as He was quite possibly divine, being that He could will Himself back to life. Naysayers have discounted the claims of his resurrection based on the flawed assumption that such an act is impossible for a deity.

However, he walked around for 40 days (or a long period of time depending on one’s interpretation) after his rising teaching his followers, leaving footprints and ascending into Heaven in front of multiple witnesses.

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